


Like A Bad Porno

by zams



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-06
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-25 18:51:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zams/pseuds/zams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>One night when Tommy's drunk, he tells Adam he can deep-throat bananas. Predictably, Adam completely obsesses over it.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Like A Bad Porno

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://glam-kink.livejournal.com/1444.html?thread=1438628) on [Glam_Kink](http://glam-kink.livejournal.com/) on LJ.
> 
> Thanks to Taylor for betaing! ♥

**

Tommy's a friendly drunk. When he's three-sheets to the wind, he gets giggly and handsy, cuddling up and kissing anyone who'll stay still long enough.

Adam's usually the one Tommy focuses his attention on, but Adam still has password-protected, backed-up-five-times pictures of Neil cuddling with Tommy that he will never let Neil forget about. Adam was a little jealous when Tommy had snuggled up to Neil, tucking his head under Neil's chin, and practically purred. Adam was shocked when Neil resisted the urge to push Tommy off him and instead pulled him closer, petting his hair. He laughed so hard he actually cried. Thankfully, he wasn't drunk enough to forget to get his camera and preserve that moment for future generations to enjoy.

That was only once. Tonight, Tommy's on his lap where he should be, nuzzling his neck while Adam touches him, his back, stomach, legs, ass, anywhere Adam can reach. He’d feel guilty, but he loves it too much, and Tommy’s said he doesn’t mind.

It's late and most of Adam's party guests are passed out on the floor or in a bedroom. As much as Adam's enjoying Tommy's attention, he can barely keep his eyes open. It's probably nearly five in the morning by now; they need to go to bed.

"Baby," Adam says, holding Tommy close to his chest. Tommy burrows his face in Adam's neck and Adam runs his fingers through his hair; it's getting long. "C'mon. It's late. We need-"

"I can deep-throat a banana," Tommy says abruptly, interrupting Adam. His words are a little slurred and muffled by Adam's chest.

"What?" It sounded like Tommy said he could deep-throat a banana, but that can't be right. An image of Tommy sitting on the counter in Adam's kitchen, sprawled out and shirtless, a peeled banana in his hand and a come-hither expression on his face flashes in Adam's mind, vivid and detailed and so hot, and sleep is suddenly the last thing on his mind.

Fuck, he must be drunker than he thought.

Tommy sits back and looks Adam in the eye. "I can deep-throat a banana," he repeats. "You wanna see?"

Adam actually chokes on air, spluttering "Yes!" before he even thinks about it.

"Yeah?" Tommy grins and moves to get off Adam's lap, but Adam's brain finally catches up with his mouth. Goddamn alcohol.

"No!" he says, grabbing Tommy around the waist so he can't get up. "No."

Tommy pouts at him and that shouldn't make Adam's groin tight, but it does. Adam ignores it. He doesn't think he'll be able to stand watching Tommy fellate a banana without doing something stupid like pounce on Tommy and drag him to bed.

Adam’s always assumed that Tommy’s straight, though Tommy’s never said one way or the other. But lately there’s been a tension between them, and Tommy’s staring at him a lot, touching him more. Adam's been trying to feel him out, because fuck yes, Adam wants to get Tommy in bed, but either Adam's imagining Tommy's attraction, or Adam's seduction skills need work. Either way, Adam’s confused and frustrated.

"You're no fun," Tommy says, his bottom lip thrust out ridiculously far. He snuggles close, his breathing heavy. "But you're comfy. Hmmm. Sleepy."

Adam pets his hair, letting Tommy use him as a bed and pillow. Adam'll put him to bed, right after Adam's heart stops pounding and he stops wondering how the fuck Tommy knows he can deep-throat a banana.

**

The next day, Tommy doesn't mention anything about the offer he made last night. Adam's too embarrassed and turned on to bring it up himself, and so they carry on like normal.

A full week passes and Adam still can’t get it out of his head. As far as Adam knows, Tommy's never even touched another guy's cock, let alone sucked enough of them to be able to deep throat. Something doesn't add up, and Adam's going crazy wondering.

He thinks about it while he's eating. He dreams about it at night. He fantasizes about it when he's jacking off. He daydreams about it when he's watching TV. It consumes his life, and Adam feels like a dick, but he can’t _stop_.

And it's completely ridiculous that he's obsessing so much over something as small as Tommy saying he can deep-throat bananas, so that's just pissing him off.

It gets so bad that every time he sees Tommy, all Adam can think about is Tommy naked, sucking a banana, moaning and drooling and whimpering, his throat working around the banana, his dick hard and wet at the tip and delicious looking. And then the fantasy changes, and it's Tommy on his knees in front of Adam, Adam's cock all the way down his throat, Tommy even more eager and excited to suck him than the banana, jerking himself off while he works Adam over like a pro.

Because he knows that he’s turning into a pervert, Adam starts avoiding Tommy when possible. He makes stupid excuses to run out on Tommy when they're hanging out, stops being alone around Tommy when they’re drinking, and tries to be aloof and not a pathetic, obsessed loser who runs the risk of coming in his jeans when they’re together for more than five minutes.

How he's sunk so low he doesn't know. All he knows is that he's become sad and pitiful, and also an asshole, because it's wrong, so, so wrong, using Tommy, his _friend_ , as jerk off material.

But he can't help himself. He can't resist. He's weak.

Lust'll do that to a man.

Fuck it all anyway.

And fuck Tommy too, because this is all his fault.

**

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Adam'll deny the shriek until his dying day. "What the fuck?!"

"Yeah," Tommy says, walking into Adam's living room. "What the fuck?"

"How the fuck did you get in here?" Adam's heart feels like it's going to pound out of his chest as he stares at Tommy.

"The bathroom window was open."

Adam's incredulous. "You _broke_ into my house instead of knocking on the door like a fucking normal person?"

Tommy scoffs. "Like you would have answered. You've been ignoring my calls and texts for the past couple days.” He raises his hand as if to scold Adam. “And! You've been acting weird longer than that."

Adam flushes and looks away. He probably wouldn't have answered the door. "I haven't ignored your texts," Adam deflects.

"Just my calls then?” Tommy asks, and the hurt Adam can hear in his voice is like a punch to the gut.

Tommy doesn't wait for an answer before continuing. "And a response of 'Busy, talk to you later,' doesn't count when you send it and then never get back to me, just so you know."

Adam sighs and risks a glance at Tommy. God, he looks pissed. He's glaring, his eyes narrowed, hands clenched into fists, lips pursed and tight. And even in the face of all that, Adam _still_ wants to know why Tommy can deep-throat bananas and ask Tommy to demonstrate his technique.

And he's also turned on, because Tommy is fucking hot when he’s pissed off.

Fuck, this is so messed up. Adam drops his head in his hands.

"Adam, seriously, what’s going on?" Tommy suddenly sounds a lot less angry and a lot more concerned, and once again, Adam feels like an asshole.

"Nothing," Adam mumbles into his hands, and he jumps when Tommy sits down on his lap. Adam tries to shrink back into the couch and put some distance between them. Adam's not sure how good his control is right now. It's probably shit.

"I'm not getting up until you tell me why you're being an asshole," Tommy says. "Are you fucking pissed at me?"

"No!" Adam denies immediately. "Of course not."

"Then what's wrong? 'Cause I'm at a loss."

Adam doesn't want to tell Tommy how fucked up he is right now. He doesn't, but Tommy's cornered him and there's nothing else to do. And he's never been a good liar, especially not to Tommy. And maybe talking about it will help; god knows trying to ignore it has only led to Adam depleting his lube stash. "You told me you can deep-throat bananas," he finally whispers. "It's all I can think about."

He can't look at Tommy, can barely breathe while he waits for Tommy to respond.

Tommy shifts on his lap. "What?"

Adam looks up hesitantly - Tommy sounds really confused.

"Bananas? Oh!" He gives Adam an unimpressed look. "You fucking dumbass!" he says, smacking Adam's chest.

Adam’s not sure if the hit was in humor or anger, but he’s surprised either way.

"That's why you've been ignoring me?!" Tommy says. Adam half-expects Tommy to punch him or something. "Because you're obsessed with me deep-throating bananas?!"

Adam cringes; it sounds even more sad and pathetic when Tommy says it.

Tommy sighs. "You are a fucking idiot," he says. "Adam… You know what you were supposed to do when I told you that?"

"Ignore it and put you to bed?" Adam guesses, not meeting Tommy's eyes. Tommy's reaction is throwing him off and making him wary.

"No, that's what you _did_ ," Tommy says. "You were _supposed_ to drag me off to bed and tell me you had a banana you'd like me to deep throat."

Adam's eyes snap to Tommy's smirking face, brain whirling. And even though he's still confused as all hell - because did Tommy _really_ just tell Adam in a round about way that he wants to suck his cock? -, Adam snorts. "I don't talk like I'm starring in a bad porno."

Rolling his eyes, Tommy presses a lingering kiss on Adam's lips that shorts a few fuses in Adam's brain. "What-the-fuck-ever," he says. "You still should've dragged me off to bed."

"You were drunk."

"Not that drunk, but since you're a gentleman, you could've asked me in the morning to elaborate on the 'I can deep-throat bananas' thing."

Adam's starting to get that apparently Tommy _does_ bat for his team and it's looking like Tommy's hot for him – which, fuck yes – and Adam was miserable enough the past week that he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth too much, but he still wants to know: "How the fuck do you know how to deep-throat a banana?"

Tommy stares. "You're _still_ hung up on that?"

Adam nods. "Well?"

"Is this your weird way of asking if I went out and sucked a bunch of cocks?" Tommy asks suspiciously.

Adam glares at him and cross his arms over his chest. “No.”

"Fine.” Tommy huffs. “I’d never sucked a cock before, but I wanted to suck yours. So I bought a bunch of bananas and practiced." He shrugs dismissively like it’s not the hottest thing Adam’s ever heard. "It only took me a few weeks, too."

That _is_ impressive, but still, Adam doesn't get it. "Why didn't you just buy a dildo or something?"

Tommy looks at him like he wants to smack him again. "I fucking like bananas, okay?! You got a fucking problem with that?"

"No, no," Adam says, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. His lips twitch and he tries not to laugh.

"Don't you fucking dare laugh," Tommy threatens. "Keep quiet and put your mouth to good use."

Adam doesn’t even blink at the sudden turn of conversation. "You have something specific in mind?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, actually. You can suck my cock."

The rush of arousal is swift and strong, and Adam grins like the cat that got the canary. "I show you mine, you show me yours?"

"What are we, in fifth grade?" Tommy rolls his eyes. "Just suck my dick and I might suck yours after."

"The romance right now is overwhelming,” Adam deadpans. “You keep this up and I’m going to swoon.” He reaches for Tommy's jeans and pops the button. "Good thing I love you, snarky and prickly and all."

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, and all that," Tommy says. "Now get on with the sucking; I'm waiting."

Anyone else and Adam'd be turned off by the seemingly flippant attitude, but it's Tommy. Adam knows that Tommy loves him, and he loves Tommy. This isn’t some fling for either of them.

And now that he’s finally got the green light, Adam can do all the things he’s wanted to do to Tommy for months, and he has all the time in the world to make sure he’s very thorough. Sucking Tommy’s brains out through his dick seems like a perfect place to start. He’s going to keep Tommy so fucked out and useless, he’ll never want to get out of bed.

Smirking from all the filthy and dirty thoughts racing through his mind, he grabs Tommy around the waist and quickly flips him on his back, lengthwise along the couch, and braces himself over Tommy.

Tommy _oomphs_ and stares up at him, face already flushed, looking at Adam like he’s everything. God, here Tommy is, finally beneath Adam, _wanting_ him, offering himself to Adam. It’s almost too much for Adam to handle.

Adam has to kiss him. He leans down and covers Tommy’s mouth with his own, sliding his tongue past Tommy's parted lips. Tommy moans into his mouth and grabs Adam’s head, pushing his hips up into Adam's as his legs spread apart.

Feeling Tommy’s erection pressing into him, Adam shudders, and he pushes his own erection against Tommy’s in return. They grind against each other, frantic and forceful, Adam feeling lightheaded. Before long, they're panting in one another's mouths, tugging at each other’s clothes, grabbing whatever they can reach, as they get each other worked up.

It's messy and rough and desperate, and Adam wants _more_. Already, Adam feels like he's drowning and flying at once, the heady rush of being with Tommy more powerful and consuming than Adam ever realized was possible. Tommy’s clutching at his back, gasping and falling apart at Adam’s touch, and it’s _amazing_.

"Bedroom," Adam pants in Tommy's ear. "Now."

Tommy nods, sucking in a sharp breath, and then they’re scrambling off the couch, half-naked, practically falling all over each other in their rush to get to Adam's bedroom.

Adam grins, pushing Tommy down on his bed ( _finally_ he thinks), and climbs over him, Tommy welcoming him and pulling him closer, kissing him.

Fuck, this is going to be a fun afternoon.

**

 **END**


End file.
